It's been a hard day's night...

Today was an uphill battle, largely against the little voice in my head that is telling me that there is not enough time, and that I cannot possibly do this. I've spent the past 11 hours on campus; most of that time was spent writing, with one lunch break, one errand to pick up a desk from another building on campus (a more ergonomic desk for just $20? Amazing), and one tearful moment in a professor's office. I am lucky to have very supportive faculty on my committee; just minutes after panicking about the time crunch in one field supervisor's office, my senior supervisor sent me an email saying not to panic, that it will all work out. They reassure me, probably until they are blue in the face, that I will pass this. I really do need to start believing them! I am glad to have them on my side.

A few of my friends have been ever so solid this week. Checking in, offering chats and tea, and in one case, even bringing me food. My friend who shares my office left at about 5pm, then stopped by again later in the evening to deliver me snacks, including chocolate. I was so grateful that I cried.

At this point, I have finished my third of six essays, pending a final proofread, and am almost done with the fourth. It is hard to let these essays go, as they are too short to possibly be definitive. I fluctuate between not caring, so long as I pass, and dreaming of perfection. I know that is not attainable, so I should probably set my sights somewhere in the middle - analytically solid, perhaps, rather than argumentatively groundbreaking.

This evening, comps is quite literally a pain in my neck. The pain in my right shoulder and moving up my neck is making sitting up more and more difficult each day. I'll have to see a doctor after this is over and get checked out; it feels like more than just tension and poor posture, like perhaps I pulled something. It's best when I am lying down or moving; worst when I am sitting up. Hopefully it will subside once I am spending less time at the computer.

Plans for tomorrow are to wake up early, proofread paper 3, polish and proofread paper 4, hand them in, and launch into papers 5 and 6. If I keep myself busy, perhaps I will be less anxious. I also hope to go for a run, or at least a swim; today I was too anxious and in too much pain to get any real exercise.