At last...

I am done with all six of my essays.

I am still worried about them - these last two are good papers, but I worrying that in making a theoretical claim that I have lost out on some of the detail, not referred to enough material, and so forth. It's a fine balance of the theory and the detail, the writing and the content, and so forth. I ended up cutting out large chunks of half-formed paragraphs to keep them cohesive and within the word limit. Hoping not to blank during the oral and forget what those points are.

Half the battle for the oral will be against my nerves. I can work well to some extent under pressure, but not when that pressure is being outnumbered by people who have the authority to pass or fail me and are waiting for an answer. In job interviews, auditions, and so forth, I blank and spit out whatever first comes to mind. That's not always the best thing to say, so I need to think through my answers more, and not be intimidated. I know that, in theory. Exercising it in practice will be more challenging!

I will probably only believe that it's all ok when it is over.